Things are looking so much better... at the moment.
I did my taxes, got enough back to buy a car, went and took the written drivers test and passed, now I need to make the appointment and take the actual drivers test.
Now, having my car and getting my license means I will be getting my promotion at work finally... even my boss was excited to hear I finally have a car. She said, "I've been waiting FOREVER to hear this news!" LOL.
I've finally accepted that I am going to be alone for a while. I have some good friends, and the one guy friend I like will always be a good friend, and perhaps never anything more... and I'm cool with that. It's nice to have a good friend like him. My other friends are older than me, which is ok, but sometimes I feel that can be a barrier- like when I want to go see a movie, they don't like the same type of movies that I do, and I don't want to go alone. My other friend who is the same age is going through some turmoil of her own, but I think things have calmed down with things that happened before between us. We did go a few months without talking at all, and I was ok with that, but now we are speaking again and hanging out again, I feel relieved. It's one thing to have a lot of friends, but having friends who are the same age as you is very different. We have more in common. Besides, where relationships are concerned- I'm not ready to get into a new one. Not yet. I will take a good friendship over a maybe relationship.
A few steps more and I will be in a good position to handle my kids again. It's been over a year. I'm a little apprehensive, but I know I can do it. Logistically there's still so much to work out, but I am just going to continue moving forward and taking one step at a time.