Friday, December 15, 2006

Hey- I've gotten myself deep into GPT's!!

And for a good cause. If I can come up with this money for spending a short amount of time on the computer, then why not. Easier than finding a job outside of the house.

So here is what I'm working on now:

These first three sites are free, no credit card required sites. You can get paid in Paypal or a Visa Gift Card. Each different site also has one other prize to choose from.
You get $25 for 3 refferals. You just need to complete one full credit worth of offers (often times just one, but sometime you need to do two half credit offers or three one-third, etc.), and get three people to do the same.
You get $50 for 5 refferals. Same requirements as first site.
You get $100 for 9 refferals. Same requirements as first two sites.

And here are the other sites:
You can get $35 for 1 refferal, or pick from five other prizes for just one refferal. You will need to complete one offer and get one person to do the same.
Yup, I'm still working on this one. You can get $500 for 7 refferals. Complete one offer on each page, and then get seven people to do the same.
You can get $250 for 6 refferals. Just complete one offer and get six people to do the same.
You can get $250 for 7 refferals, or choose from five different cameras. Just complete one offer and get the required number of people to do the same.
You can get $250 for 7 refferals, or choose from one round-trip airline ticket or two round-trip airline tickets. Just complete one offer and get the required number of people to do the same.
This site is slightly different. You can complete it to recieve one prize, and then go back and complete it for another prize. You could first get $250 for 7 refferals, and then go back and choose from one of fifteen other prizes for the required number of refferals.
You can get $200 for 5 refferals, or choose from five different laptops for the required number of refferals. This one asks for a higher number of refferals, so I reccomend you stick with the money instead.
You can get $325 for 10 refferals, or choose from six different digital cameras for the required number of refferals. This one has a higher refferal requirement too, and the offers are a little tougher to complete, but it's well worth the time and effort.

All of these sites are refferal based GPT's. There are also DIY (do it yourself) sites, which I will post tommorrow. Most of the DIY sites are ones where you can get paid over and over and over again for just completing free surveys and free offers.

Out of these sites I am trying to reach the neccessary refferals to recieve one digital camera, and a total of over $1700. It won't happen before Christmas unfortunately, but if I can complete these sites by February, then I can pay some of my medical bills that I owe.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Well, I've been at a loss for words. I keep telling myself to write down my "adventures" in the blog but alas, I stopped trying. I guess that now I'm not in school I feel like I don't have to write anymore. But I really do need to find an outlet for my emotions...

Ok, so update time. Since I last posted I have temporarily dropped out of the SHALI biz. Financially, we are so unstable that we can barely pay our rent. H (for I shall not call him DH right now, no way...) didn't tell me that he had the rent money since Friday, and I just found it today. So our rent is now 12 days overdue by the time I get the MO and turn it in tomorrow. :( That's just one problem. I have also lost my Mia Bella website and biz due to our financial situation. And the reason I lost both biz's is because we lost our bank account. It was seriously overdrawn, and H just refused to deposit anything there. Instead he opened an account for himself only, claiming that it's for business only, but he can't even keep money in that account either. Go figure. So between August and the first of November we had the account in a super negative amount, so the bank closed it on us. On top of that, becuase I lost my bank account I also lost the Money market account I had opened online. It was set up to recieve automatic deposits from the bank account, and now that I no longer had the account the company sent me a check for the amount that I had in the MM account. But I had no way to cash it cause I don't have a bank account. Imagine me crying. Oh, and my paypal account got overdrawn too due to charges from offers that I didn't cancel in time, and paypal tried to transfer the money from my overdrawn bank account, which didn't work as you can imagine. So I don't know if I even still have a Paypal account. I don't owe them that much- or at least it's pennies compared to how much I still owe the bank. All I want for Christmas is to suddendly have money in the bank, with enough to pay off all my debt and still have money left over for a vacation. Is that too much to ask for??

Friday, August 18, 2006

It's been a while...

Here's just a brief update to things that have happened in the last month an a half:
I finally graduated from UOP with a dual bachelor's degree on July 15!
I got myself involved in yet another business venture, but I'm still hesitant to promote it at this point.
My kids drove me crazy ALL summer, and I cannot wait for them to go back to school on the 24th!
That's it. Yeah, extremely exciting.

I wanted to talk to you about something though.

One of my businesses is an amazing organization that is also dedicated to making a difference in people’s lives. My organization is called Stayin’ Home and Lovin’ It (SHALI). Even though SHALI is a business organization, socially it is as equally important for all involved. Every day our organization grows. Every day, the members of the organization make friends and create extended families. Many of the friendships I have made through this organization stems from our shared goal within the group. All of us strongly believe in the company we work for, and our goal is directly aligned with the company’s goal, “to enhance the lives of those we touch by helping people reach their goals.”

Recently I had the opportunity to discover just how much my organization and the company has impacted others. For four days in Salt Lake City, Utah, I experienced what religious people would call enlightenment. Under the roof of the Salt Palace Convention Center, over 8,000 people from all over the world gathered to share stories of how our company has changed their lives, as well as meet friends they had only known through the internet or phone conversations. Rather than a business meeting, the whole four days felt like the largest social gathering of friends the world has ever seen. People, who at one point were complete strangers, would laugh and hug and share stories like they have known each other forever. Not only did I learn how the successful Marketing Executive built their businesses, but also how they maintain quality friendships with people other businesses would consider only as customers. Within this organization there truly is no boundary between customer and business. Perhaps it is because Marketing Executives are customers themselves, so we can relate to our customers on a more personal level than a traditional business can.

I got the chance to meet some of the highest earning people in the company, who are also part of my organization. One couple are Corporate Directors. The rest are Executive Directors. I even got to meet the President and CEO himself! I was shocked to find out how down-to-earth everyone was, especially the CEO! No one cared that you were just a starting out Marketing Executive. Everyone was welcomed with open arms. It didn't matter what color your skin was, if you were wheelchair bound, were deaf, were severly handicapped, were Mormon, Catholic, Jew, Islamic, Amish (and yes there was a large contingent of Mennonite Amish there), old or young, spoke Chinese, Japanese, French, Spanish, EVERYONE WAS WELCOMED!

Everything that I believed about the company was reinforced at this convention. But most importantly I learned. I learned that my problems were insignificant compared to others. I learned that anything is possible as long as you believe in it! No matter how many times you face darkness, there will always be a ray of light to guide your way.

I've found a company like no other. I'm on the ride of my life, and I want to pull as many people on with me as possible!

"Enhancing lives, one at at time...Making each home a safer place, bringing a smile to every face, giving each soul it's special grace...One At A Time!"

To learn more about this amazing company, please visit my website at, read through it and then contact me. :o)

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

I need MONEY!!!

Ok, but who doesn't? I feel though that I'm in a deep pickle. Creditors calling out the wazoo, overdue utility bills, unpaid rent... AAAAAAAAAA!!!! So I'm begging you guys to help me out! I just joined a few programs that will help me get some $$. Here's the lowdown:

These are paid email programs.
Sign up for free and then you will recieve emails that you have to read. I would reccomend that you select the site inbox for delievery method. Otherwise your main email account will get seriously flooded with spam! Oh, and you can upgrade with these sites and use them for advertising!
Emails for 1/4, 1/3, 1/2 cent each, bonus points available, pay to click banner ads. Active members recieve an average of 30 emails a day. Cashout at $5. Emails are 1 cent each. Bonus points available also. Active members recieve an average of 50 emails per day. Cash out at $5. Emails are 1 cent each. Bonus points also. Active members recieve an average of 30 emails a day. Cash out at $3.

Send Earnings is not just a paid email site, but they also pay you for completing offers (they pay $20 for the tickle tests!!)

Now onto the Paid to Complete Offers Sites!!

MaviShare Mavishare is an incredible site!! Get paid to complete offers, and payout is extremely fast! From there FAQ's: "Whenever you have an account balance over $10, you can withdraw instantly. You need to sign up 3 unique and active friends for each withdrawal after the first withdrawal if you want to be paid instantly. Otherwise you can wait until the 15th of the following month to get paid. This is to help us keep costs down, since we pay PayPal for each withdrawal. Do NOT attempt to sign up yourself multiple times or enter fake information or your account will be closed. If you don't have enough referrals, you can still withdraw instantly if you have at least $65 in your account" My first cashout landed in my Paypal account within minutes!!

Simply complete two offers, one on each page, and get 7 friends to do the same! Your reward=$500 to your Paypal!!
I have one refferal already Five more would be awesome!! Depends on what prize you choose, the number of credits or refferals is different. I choose $250 paypal, which requires either 7 credits or one credit and 6 refferals. You get to choose!! Some offers are partial credits, so watch for the ones that give one full credit!
Pick your choice of prize- $100 to $1000 paypal or gift!! Get one refferal for $100, 5 for $200, and it goes on (27 refferals for $1000!!) You need to complete only one offer and get your refferals to complete only one offer also! I'm going for the $200!!

So you see here, I'm aiming for a total of $950 for just a few minutes of doing offers and getting refferals! You can too!! It's not really difficult. People are doing offers, getting refferals, and then getting paid in one day!! There are some offers that are free to do, but the majority ask you to pay for a trial subscription. I highly reccomend doing the Tickle offers!! There are a few for $4.95, $9.95, and $12.95. Those come with a 7 day trial, which will renew for $19.95 monthly if you do not cancel during the trial period. Just think that the reward outweighs the initial cost!!

BTW, there are many many many other sites that offer other prizes other than cold hard cash! Just check out and go to the Autosurf, HYIP's, Pay to Read, Survey's, Etc. folder!!

Friday, June 30, 2006

Well, we finally moved.

Ugh, try moving from a 3 bedroom house to a 2 bedroom apartment. BooHooHooooo!! These last few weeks have been hectic and tiring, both physically and mentally. But we are finally settled. Well, as settled as can be.

So, the last two weeks of school for the kids was crazy. First of all we had the end of the year picnics, and a final kindergarden field trip. June 7 was the k trip. We went to the San Fransisco Zoo. That was the same day we signed the lease for the apartment. Then Thursday, Friday, Saturday was busy with moving things, sorting through boxes that had been in the attic for nearly two years, and unwillingly submitting to throwing away a bunch of stuff. And it was hard. ;( Tons of stuff that was up there was ruined by the damn rats. Remember when I said that we had to deal with them? Anyway, stuffed animals and books and clothes, just ruined from the urine of the rats. Some stuff was even chewed up. So I had to get rid of a lot. That was not fun.

So by the time Monday rolls around I was more than just tired. My entire body was aching and sore from having to move. We are now in a third floor aparment. Up two flights of stairs with boxes was not the best thing to do. I don't recommend it. Ever. But anyway, Tuesday comes and we have the Kindergarden end of the year picnic. It was fun. We went to the local park, which is the main spot for all kindergarden and first grade picnics for most of the schools. The kids had a blast, played on the equipment, had a few scraped knees, jumped off trees... you get the picture. So then Wednesday was the 2nd grade picnic to the beach. Oh, boy. I should have thought to bring extra shoes and socks for my son. The tide was waaay low that day and nearly everyone decided to go crab and fish hunting in the rocks. Of course it was really muddy. Out of 60 kids, maybe one brought extra shoes and socks. Of course his mom brought them for him, remembering last year's trip with his older brother. Too bad she didn't say anything to the other moms!

The picnics out of the way and one more day of school. Thursday, June 15 was the offical last day of school for the kids. My daughter graduated from kindergarden!! I thought that I would cry, since she is the younger, but I didn't. At least dad came this year. He didn't for his son. :x Oh, well, what can I do about it now. So after school got let out at 11:30 am, we went to Fresh Choice for lunch since that is what the kids wanted to do. Then we went home and watched a movie.

So I didn't do much in the way of unpacking since we moved until the 23rd. At least I got books put away on the bookshelves, and some clothes put away. But we didn't have our beds put together still. My mom bought us a new couch, knowing we did not have any living room furniture other than folding chairs. So Saturday Dh put the beds together, and I tried to put the rest of the stuff away that was in the boxes taking up all the room in the living room. Sunday, DH played soccer and then we went to pick up the couch. So finally the living room looks like a living room. No more boxes cluttering the way. Of course, now I still have to put away clean clothes and wash the dirty. That will never end. The apartment manager said that laundry is also known as infinity. He's right, it never ends.

So that's what's been happening in my life the last month. Saturday starts a whole 'nother month to worry about.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

A little fun stuff just for you!!

I'm trying to be more positive in life!! So I'm not going to post my woes for a while!! Here's some fun stuff that I have come accross recently (mostly in emails)! I have more, but I will post them later!!


Birthday Calendar

It tells you how many hours and how many seconds you have been alive on this earth and when you were probably conceived. After you've finished reading the info, click again, and see what the moon looked like the night you were born. Who says our time clocks aren't ticking....

My info included Life Path compatablity, My age equivilancy in Dog years, how much energy the candles on my bday cake will produce, and what my birth tree is!! LOL! I am 870,529,117 seconds old!! (as of this moment! LOL!)


Have you ever heard of "Assicons"??
WARNING- This may offend you: but don't worry, I didn't write it!! LOL!

We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons,"
:) means a smile
:( is a frown.

Well, how about some "ASSICONS?"

Here goes:
(_!_) a regular ass
(__!__) a fat ass
(!) a tight ass
(_*_) a sore ass
(_!_} a swishy ass
(_o_) an ass that's been around
(_x_) kiss my ass
(_X_) leave my ass alone
(_zzz_) a tired ass
(_E=mc2_) a smart ass
(_$_) Money coming out of his ass
(_?_) Dumb Ass

You have just been e-mooned! Send this to 5 people within the next hour and you will be blessed with people laughing their ass off (_ :-) _).


The Ulitmate Female Joke

It has long been contended that there are male jokes and there are female jokes. And there are unisex jokes. Here is a joke I consider a true female joke. I offer it to you in the hopes that women will love it and men will pass it along to a woman who will love it.

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him. The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. (As all men will.)

Before she could offer her apologies for so rudely staring, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00, on one condition."

Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."

The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly and meaningfully said....

"Clean my house."

Monday, May 01, 2006

Immigration Support!!

Ok, even though I've had rough times with DH and I have often wanted to kill him ;), we really do have good times, and he does support me in stuff I do, albeit not the way I would like...

So I also support him and anything that upsets him. Like this immigration issue. Boy oh, boy is that really worrying him. Not that he could get deported, he is a legal resident, and has been for about 5 years. He's worried that he may be stopped from applying for citizenship.

Well, I inadvertatly started a thread at the forum I so lovingly call my second home (mommyjobs) and something amazing happend. There were a few friends that supported the idea, and one person who was misunderstood to be against the whole issue. That wasn't my objective at all. All I wanted was to see who was supporting the marches and rallies that were ongoing today nationwide. My friend Camille posted it about it, A day without immigrants, which is what the organizers are calling today, May 1, 2006.

This is my stand:

The United States of America were built by immigrants, and developed by immigrants, and have always supported immigrants. Immigrants view America as the only nation that is open to all cultures and languages. Now, we have Democrats and Republicans fighting immigration, and the whole point of our nation has been forgotten. Now, Mexico is considering making it legal for people to posses small amounts of drugs, but still illegal to sell, hoping to curb the drug traffic. But the political environment here screams and wants to completely close off the border, and pleads to the Mexican government not to allow their drug policy to go forward. And Mexico is pleading to the US that they not allow this immigration policy to go forward. WTF? And what about all the other people that are considered immigrants?? It's not just Mexicans!! There are Europeans, Iranians, Chinese, Japanese, Argentinian, Egyptian, and the list goes on and on and on and on... CMON PEOPLE This stupid immigration thing seems like a personal vendetta againgst spanish speaking people. AND I WILL BOYCOTT THE GOVERNMENT UNTIL THEY STOP THIS CRAP!!! Families are being pulled apart for no reason. Deserving people are being denied urgent medical care. There is no American Dream anymore.

Why did England send people over here in the first place? To start over and make a better life for themselves!! So why do so many people want to come here now??? To START OVER AND MAKE A BETTER LIFE FOR THEMSELVES!!!!!

I'm really mad now! I find these proposed laws extremely against the whole founding idea of the US. If these laws pass, I will gladly renounce my citizenship. It's not worth it.

Edit-My other good friend Jac also has a strong stand, which is nearly identical to mine: you can read about it in her post Support Illegal Immigration.
I don't have an account where she blogs so I couldn't leave a comment- so here it is now! There is a reason why I fell in love with my spouses family! They accepted me with no if's and's or but's and my mother in law cries each time I leave when I visit! I enjoy the peace I have when I visit Mexico and I would live there if I did renounce my citizenship! No questions asked. The people down there have such a postive attitude for life that is not apparent here, unfortunately.

Friday, April 28, 2006

My bad week...

I've been to the hospital twice now becasue I got a staph infection in my left leg. I just wrote about the dangers of staph and my problems on my other blog. Needless to say, I have had a bad week. And now I have to worry about the hospital bills ;( I have no insurance. I don't know what to do. I have not been able to make money from my biz. Actually from neither of them. And autosurfing is no way to make money either. I've lost about $15 there, which was all loose change, but frustrating nonetheless. Forgive me, I need to go bawl my eyes out now. No money + bad infection= AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! ;( ;( ;( ;(

Saturday, April 15, 2006


My vent is about DH. Nearly every day this week he comes home and immediately falls on the bed and goes to sleep. He doesn't even bother to move things off the bed, whether it's clean clothes or other, he just falls onto the bed with his dang dirty work clothes still on and falls asleep. He sleeps for a couple of hours, then he wakes up, takes a shower, and immediately goes to the store and comes home with an 18 pack of beer. Then he and his buddies proceed to plow through at least four 18 packs, tear the kitchen apart with thier munchies, and stay up listening to music until nearly 2 in the morning. Now like I said, this has happened nearly everyday this week, starting on Wednesday. Saturday he didn't even go to work. Friday night, actually Saturday morning he finally came to bed at 5am. Friday afternoon he and his buddies decided to have a bbq in the front yard of all places. So of course now there is approximately 6+ boxes of empty beer cans, and quite a few empty cans piled up in front of the kitchen windows, on the ground.

He finally confessed to me last night too, that he has been talking on the phone to his ex-girlfriend nearly every day since December. He confessed that he nearly left me and the kids to go back with her. She still lives in Mexico. He ran into her when he was there in December, and says that he still feels something for her, but that it's just a great friendship feeling, not love. He claims he loves his kids and me enough that he would never leave us. He'd rather deal with my mood swings and laziness than leave his children to be with another woman. I knew that he had been speaking to some girl on the phone, cause he would leave the house to make the phone call and if I caught him on the phone he would walk away or ask me to shut up. so I already knew that he was talking to someone else.

*SIGH* I just can't trust anybody. ;(

Friday, April 14, 2006

I have to write about this...

I don't really know how to put my feelings into words about this subject. It's a little tender for some, but the info I just was introduced to makes me, well, extremely pissed. I'm talking about the events leading up to, during, and after 9/11.

At, we had been discussing this subject, rather heatedly, I might add. Here's the link if you're interested But what comes into play is the fact that on April 28, the first of two 9/11 movies will be released in the movie theaters. This movie is about what the families believe transpired aboard Flight 93, the one that crashed into a field in Pensylvania.

Or did it? What about the American Airlines flight that crashed into the pentagon??? Did it really? And why was there so much controversy about the subsequent events with the twin towers? They shouldn't have fallen, that much has been said, but were they damaged enough from the planes to fall like that????

I urge you to watch this video This is part one of three. You will need to watch all three. Watch them with your full attention, at a time where you will not get distracted. You will need about one hour and thirty minutes to devote to watching all three videos. Warning, you may feel sick to your stomach after you finish watching them.

I have nothing more to say about this right now.

This post has been generously sponsered by! HUGS TO YOU JAC!!

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Rain, Whining, and Lack of $$$

Sara, you really got me with this one!
Ok, so Sara, my buddy, has a great blog entitled My Mothers Fault, and in that post she was dealing with the "mama guilt." UHHH I can totally relate!

Here I was today, trying to deal with the darn rain, two whining kids who wanted to go into Target to buy a new game for the gameboy, and needing to get gas and pay for DD's doctor appointment somehow! I had $19 in cash and I had to fork out $100 total or the doc wouldn't see her. So I forked over the last of my precious $$, and maxed out my CC with the rest of the payment. Then the doc gives me a precription for DD for an eye infection, which means I have to go to Target anyway to fill it. UGH! So the kids start whining again, and I have just barely enough left on my Target card to pay for DD's meds and some brownies for her and her brother. But of course, he wanted to buy a game, either for the computer or the gamboy. Sheesh! They can't understand me when "I say I have no money!" So now I start to get the mama guilt! I never wanted to turn into my mother! Thank goodness she hates the computer and doesn't even go on the internet, cause she wouldn't want to read my life crisis the way I put them out! Half of the stuff I have blogged about she doesn't even know about and I'd like to keep it that way! But I am afraid I am starting to act like her with my kids, so I can truly say that "it's my mother's fault!'

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

You'll never guess what I did!!!!!!

So, I've been trying to earn money from home. I joined a great team last year and have started to make a little (say $2-6) with that biz, but I certainly don't make enough money to stay at home. So what do I do?????? I join two other biz's! Crazy huh?!!

I've been kinda following my friend Cindy's blog also, Moms Makin Monny, and I have done some of the things that she suggests! I do paid surveys, and autosurfing now! You can also find a great list of surveys on my other friend Elizabeth's blog Free Survey Lists. Both blogs have helped me in my search for $$$$$! HAHA!! I have been paid a whopping total of $.20 for one autosurf I joined, and I am anxiously awaiting a $5 payment from another! I also been paid $30 from a survey site that I've been doing for a while! So take a look at what my friends say about making money on the internet! I trust thier advice!

BTW- bet you're wondering what the other two biz's are I joined! Mia Bella Candles and Stuff A Friend! SAF was free to join! Great bday party gifts and activities *hint-hint*!!!!

Friday, April 07, 2006

I had a problem a while back on this blog...

I don't know if anyone else noticed- my sidebar was appearing underneath my posts. And I wasn't the only one with the same problem either!! My pal Elizabeth had the same problem and she blogged about how she went about fixing it! Well, I followed her tips, but it still didn't come out right. OK, then , so what did I do??? HA! Actually it was a week or so ago and I honestly can't remember *someone please hit me on the head* I think it was because some of my links were too wide or something like that... But if anyone ever has that same problem with your sidebar going to the bottom of your posts- read Elizabeth's blog cause she really went into detail on how to fix it.

What can I do to make my biz work???

So I have been working with the Stayin Home and Lovin It! Team since last May- close to a year now. But I haven't been really succesful with it yet. And I really want this biz to be my main biz!! So I've been searching for help, and I found this post on my friend's blog: Dancing to music that matters to you. I've heard similar thoughts from my current upline with SHALI, and all around the home biz world, but she just made it sound so simple!! It has to matter to me, and I have to find people that have the same feelings.

Monday, April 03, 2006

I'm trying to become a gourmet chef! (YEAH RIGHT!)

Well, now that my SIL is no longer living with us, I am forced to cook. It's not that I don't want to, but cause I have no idea how to. I mean, I grew up learning to cook Ramen noodles, macaroni and cheese, and green eggs with no ham. Me cook?? NAHHHHH! But then I was reading my pal's blog Revenge of the couch potatoes and she talked about lefovers, which I never know what to do with! I may have to try her concoction, although I hate cream of mushroom soup. Maybe with chicken tortilla soup instead or baked potato soup. Anyway I did try something the other day which actually turned out wonderful! I cooked chicken breast with a lemon pepper marinade. While the chicken was cooking, I put to boil some rainbow rotini, which had been sitting in my pantry for over a month. When the chicken was done I poured it over the pasta, and VOILA!! Instant meal! Wow, I actually cooked and didn't even burn the water this time! Thanks VeryCute for the inspiration!! DH actually liked it, and of course, neither of the kids would try it (they are in the wannabe vegetarian stage). Well, I have lots of ramen noodles to cook with...

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Hmm, what would I do if I could make improvments to my husband!! I was reading my friends blog The Crazy Housewife , and she had a great technical view on her husband situation. If only life were that simple!! Wouldn't it be great to be able to add, change, and remove programs from your husband, just like you do with your computer?? Only the problem is that the computer is waaaaaaay easier to change and remove programs on. I would love to be able to take away a few things from DH right now! Limiting his time with his buddies would please me greatly, while increasing his time with the three of us. Today wasn't as bad, we did a few things together, but it's when it is most needed for us to be togther that he decides his buddies need some more beer. HA! Add hot food and lingere indeed. I'll let the crazy housewife do her own upgrading, cause I don't really care for the lingere part.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Not much to say...

Ugh, I don't know. It must be contagious or something. I mean, I know I'm not the only one in the same predicament. My friend Bruk talked about it on her blog too- Who really wants someone else to raise thier kids?? I mean come on!! There has got to be a way to earn enough money to stay home right?? I'm not doing so hot with my home biz, and I don't want to quit, so I won't- BUT I really need the money. WHATS WRONG WITH ME???? I can't even get into the autosurfs, to make money cause I don't have any to work with. UGH!! I've already spent my savings like five times over- I should have over 12 thou in savings, but I don't Help pay rent, pay bills, pay medical expenses. Another thing- if someone had warned me how expensive it would be to have kids, I may not have had any, well, I would have been more careful and waited longer till I was more financially stable. I love my kids, don't get me wrong, but I am having soooooo many problems. AHHHHHHHHH!!!

Tuesday, March 28, 2006


OMG!!! Today is our anniversary! 9 loooooong years!!! Not many people thought that we would make it past one year! And speaking of one year- I want to congratulate a friend of mine who just posted in her blog that she also has her anniversary today!! Here's her post- She just celbrated 1 year!!

I feel like dancing and singing!!!


I just don't know how to react! Should I cry, should I laugh, should I smile like a little kid??? I know we won't be doing anything this year. We are waiting till next year, cause it's more important- 10! Just think- 9 years ago I was 3 months pregnant and getting married on this day!! Ok, enough- I got laundry to do- that's married life!!!

Friday, March 24, 2006

House Hunting...

I never realized that house hunting could be so stressfull!!!! We have seen six homes so far, but I think we have found one. Now the only problem is getting DH's income verified to be able to buy the house. His documented income would only qualify us for monthly payments of $2300, and the place we want to put an offer on would mean payments of $3800. He makes more than his documented income, but how can we prove it????? His boss pays him 40 hours by paycheck, but the overtime is paid in cash. DH also has a number of side jobs which bring in approximately a few hundred extra a week.

This income problem means that I'm gonna have to get a job again, since my biz is not bringing in enough money yet. WHAT DO I DO???? I don't want to go back to work. That will mean missing out on all the fun on the forums that I participate in. And I may have to give up my Moderator postition on one too *sob*. Oh, woe is me!!! I'm soooooo stressed out, and I can't explain myself to DH so he's getting annoyed with me. He doesn't understand why I am being so emotional right now, when I am always emotional ;) But I swear, this is really getting to me. I've had a strange ache in my arm and chest-- heart problems??? I have no idea, but I can't afford to go to the doctor right now. I have to fork out $500 for blood tests, a chest xray, and the doctor's visit for DD this week. She's the other stress factor in my life right now. I'll write about that later...

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

A move is immanent...

Mold keeps growing, allergies getting worse.... We need to get outta here!!!

I made contact with a lady on the east coast that willl secure a loan for us (already has pre-approved us), now all we need to do is find a place. I've been on the net for days searching the MLS and non MLS sites for homes in our price range- under $600,000. It's very difficult to find one in our area. We both want to stay near the school for the kids, but there are only five town homes- and of course dh wants a single family. If we want a single family, we need to move out of town, up north or farther east at least 30 minutes drive from where we are now. There's not much hope here. ;( IF we do get a home here, it will be a worse fixer upper than what we are living in now- and this ones has been "appraised" at $700,000. I highly doubt it! I am planning on calling the Department of Environmental Health as soon as we leave here, to put in a complaint about the conditions of the house. The owner cannot just knock down a wall or move it over just to get rid of mold. It is everywhere!!! The kitchen floor is buckled and he has admitted to seeing lots of water under the house. There is a damp smell everywhere which is getting worse. And my allergies are getting worse. If we stay here any longer I may end up in the hospital becasue of the mold.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006


Ok, really, I do, but I don't want to move far away. But considering our financial situation, and how much housing costs here, we may have to. Last night my hubby got into a heated discussion with the owner of our house. He had overheard the owner saying something to one of his workers about us and the house, so he decided to say something. I have no idea what tranpired, but all I konw is that they were talking with raised voices on the side of the house, and I could hear their voices from the living room. Afterward, hubby decided that it was time to start doing some cleaning in the garage. He wanted to throw everything away, and I mean EVERYTHING!! But I had to intervene- we can not afford to throw things away. We're gonna have a garage sale with the toys and clothes and other stuff we don't want. But he doesn't want to do it. He's worried that the stuff will keep collecting dust and taking up space. That's why he wants to throw everything away. I got an idea from a forum friend that I may use. Maybe sell the things on ebay, including his stuff!! HEHEHE! But back to moving. Since housing is soooooo expensive in my area (median home price is $760,000!) we cannot afford to buy anywhere here! Anywhere else is much cheaper, but again- the idea of uprooting the kids and making new friends... I am just finally starting to make some friends around this area!! And so are the kids!! But where we were just looking, there is a 4 bedroom 2 bathroom home for sale at $400,000! That same size house here would be minimum $850,000. It's so annoying. There is an organization here in town that helps first time homebuyers that are also middle to low income buy a house. I think I will find thier number and call them.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

I found this article on Internet Based Moms, one of the wahm forums I frequent. It says a lot...

Let's Face it, every mom has had one of "those days". The baby is feed and dry but very fussy, your child forgot to tell you about a science project that is due tomorrow and hands you a list of 10 things that you must get from the store, you forgot the roast in the oven and now it is dry and your husband just called to say that he is stuck at the office... again! After a day like this, it can be very hard to keep your stress level low. With each passing minute you may feel your stress and irritability rising, your patience getting shorter and your fuse about to blow! Calgon Take Me Away!!

When you feel the need to escape and take a few minutes to yourself to de-stress, follow some (if not all) of the tips below.

Put yourself in time out: Allow some alone time for yourself. Use this time to focus on you. Find a place in your home that you can go to and find privacy. You can ask your partner or a friend to take the family out for a few hours while you enjoy your alone time. Do nothing, sleep, read, watch a movie, and just enjoy your solitude.

Call a Friend: Rather than yelling at your husband or your children, try picking up the phone and vent to a friend. Be sure not to vent AT her, but rather tell her about your day and get it all out. If she offers you some advice, listen and soak it in. This mini-time out session will leave you feeling heard, de-stressed and you will find that by the end of your call some of you anger will have dissipated.

Play: As adults, we sometimes forget the beneficial value of play. Play stimulates our imagination, encourages our creativity, boosts our energy, and best of all, it is fun. Try a game of tennis, a game of cards online or perhaps invite some friends over for an evening of adult board games.

Meditate: Meditation has been proven to reduce your blood pressure, and helps to dramatically reduce your stress level. Meditation and/or prayer will help you to keep in touch with your spiritual side. Meditation is a very effective method of relaxation. To meditate, quiet your mind and allow yourself to focus on one thing, such as your breath. Find a relaxed comfortable position where Try visualizing good health and peace as you inhale. While you are breathing out breathe out all of your stress. Set aside approximately 20 minutes for this exercise. Upon completion, you will see just how much more relaxed your mind and body is.

Take a nap: Find a quiet, comfortable spot and take a nap. Even a short power nap can leave you feeling refreshed, renewed, and more focused. Studies have shown that people who spent 30 minutes each day napping had one third less heart disease than those who didn't nap.

Eat: Not just anything but certain things. Studies show that certain foods can help reduce stress. Carbohydrates will actually soothe you. Good sources of carbohydrates include rice, pasta, potatoes, breads, air-popped popcorn and low-calorie cookies. Experts suggest that the carbohydrates present in just one baked potato or a cup of spaghetti or white rice, is enough to relieve the anxiety of a stressful day.

Movie Time: If you don’t have anyone to watch the children for you while you de-stress. Put in one of their favorite movies, supply your children with a few healthy snacks, and have them occupy themselves for a little while so that you can take a breather. Don't feel guilty for taking time out to rejuvenate your mind and body. Being a mom is not an easy task and it is a full time job. Take a break when you need it and be sure to ask for help to keep the stress at bay.
============ Aurelia Williams, Certified Personal Life Coach and owner of Real Life Coaching. Are you looking to reduce your stress? Join our Stress Less program. Free Consultation included.

If it was only that easy...

Friday, February 24, 2006

Depression, I'm ready...

Oh, boy. After reading a post on a support forum, I started to get depressed again. It's the alone issue again. Like I posted before, but there is more to it. Here's what I posted in that forum:

My husband always has more time for his "buddies" than his family. We've been together for 10 years, celebrating our 9yr wedding anniversary March 28. He has so many projects that he wants to do around the house, but the minute he gets home, either his butts on the couch with the remote in his hand, or he throws himself onto the bed and is "dead asleep" within a minute. The other difference in our stories, we live with other people. My SIL and her family live with us (4 of them) and three of my husbands cousins. Currently, we live in a 3 bedroom house: We have the master bed and bath, my kids share a room, and my SIL and her fam are in the 3rd bedroom. The cousins live in the garage. We do not own this house, just rent it. So the messiness of the house is intolerable, but between me and my sil, no one else will do any cleaning. In fact, she does the majority of it, and hardly lets me do anything. If I say, I'll do it in a minute, she will not wait, gets mad at me and does it right away. That's beside the point. Our room is a pigsty. I beg him to put his dirty clothes in the dirty clothes bin, but of course, it piles up in the bathroom until I pick it up. And he leaves his shoes everywhere- kitchen, bathroom, living room, outside; and he wonders why I don't know where everything is... He works in contruction, so he get's paid fairly well enough for us to afford for me to stay home. Unfortunately, he has to spend his money on beer, pool, and other unneccesary stuff, and always wonders why we can't pay bills on time. I started a home biz, but it's growing slowly, and I won't be able to help out for at least a year. So in the meantime, he complains that we don't have enough money, and want's me to find a job again. I've not worked in one year. I enjoy the time with my kids, and I don't wan't to have to work again. I'm giving myself until Septemeber to make a modest check with my home biz. If it is still not enough, then I'll find a part time job while the kids are in school. But I can't right now. It's funny because he always complained about me being away from the kids and working too much; begging me to quit my job and stay home. Now he is begging me to go back to work. If I can't get the housework done when I'm home all day, how in the heck can I accomplish it if I go back to work? He say's he'll pay his sister to do everything, including our laundry. I'm sorry, that just doesn't sit right for me. I will not go back to work so I can have someone messing with my personal belongings. It irks me when people try to help me with personal chores...

But that's not it either. There's much, much more. I'm close to having a nervous breakdown. The problem is with having to live with other people, and his issue with not wanting to try to live just the four of us. He claims that since I can't accomplish all the chores with help, then I absoluetly will not be able to do them by myself. It's not the fact that I can't do them, it's the fact that there is so much to do, and no one except his sister trys to help. Even she cannot do everything by herself. I'm not superwoman, and he make me feel like I have to be. I finish cleaning the kitchen and within ten minutes it looks like a warzone again. Just the other night, both he and his sis complained that I spend too much time doing other things when I should be cleaning. I should be cleaning in the morning and then doing the other stuff in the eveneing. Ok, when have I ever cleaned during the day? When I worked at Target, I would always clean when I got home, since it was the only time I had to do anything. So, now, despite being home all the time, I still can't do any cleaning in the day time. Ok, some things like laundry and cleaning the kids room I do dayside, but other things like the kitchen... I don't see a point of cleaning if in five minutes or less it will be dirty again. Better clean it when it will stay clean for a few hours. Of course, if we have guests, which is rare, then it would be clean dayside. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! I can't go on... then for sure you'll see my pix in the paper "Desperate Housewife Pleads Insanity..."

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Do I Dare Go ON?

So, July 15, 2006 will be a big day for me. Finally, after 4 long years, I will graduate from the University of Phoenix with a dual bachelors degree in Biz Managment and Biz Admin.


But here's my dilemma... I really don't want to stop, but I want my life back and the time with my family back. I'm considering continuing for my Masters degree, either in English as a Second Language, or getting my teaching credential for music.

Tonight was supposed to be my very last class before graduation: the capstone course. But of course, I am short a number of credits that are required to graduate, so I have four more classes scheduled. Boo Hoo. Everyone was emotional, only a couple of us have one or two classes left, everyone else is completely finished. My very last class, officially, ends five days after the graduation ceremony. Everyone is asking me why don't I just take a CLEP or DANTES test to get out of the classes, so I can live my life again. My response to them is I don't know. But really, I kinda want to take these last four classes. It's kinda in my line of thought right now. The next class I have scheduled is on world religion. Then I have human nutrition, human motivation, and then finally business literature. I'm kinda intrigued by the names of the courses and wonder exactly what I'll be learning. It's that life-long learning idea: you never stop learning.

So what am I to do? I'm gonna be saddled with over $30 thou in student loans starting in 2007, I don't want to get a part time job to pay back the loans, my home biz is going slowly (so totally my fault), and I really want to be with my family and do more things in life. BUT I also want to continue my education, and get back into the music scene I so boldly left 9 years ago when I got married.

So that's my dilemma. I want to eat my cake now, not later.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Spring Cleaning Time

And I want to scream!!! We have such a mess that I don't know where to begin. DH has so many clothes that he doesn't wear, and he complains that he has nothing to wear. Wait a minute... isn't it the woman who usally complains that she has nothing to wear? I have lots to wear myself, just nothing fits. But clothing aside, right now there is no place to store things. All his clothes are piled on top of the dresser, with some of my stuff inside. My clothes are piled in a box next to the wall because I have no drawer space. We really need to buy new furniture, but we can't afford it right now. I think that I will have a garage sale this week!! Get rid of his stuff, and some of mine that I know I won't wear. And maybe some of the kids stuff as well. I already have a box of toys that they wanted to get rid of. That shocked me. My kids wanting to get rid of toys. So we have things to sell at a garage sale, just have to organize them to have a sale. HMMMMM, maybe I'll get rid of our old tapes too at the same time. I gotta get dh to bring boxes out of the attic so I can go through them. Better now than when we have to move. Don't know yet when that will be. Another month, two weeks, a year? Oh, and speaking of house... the owner put in a new window and a french door, made a huge mess in the living room. Right now we really can't spend time in the living room like we used to. I'm gonna ask dh to try again to see if we can buy this house. Not that I really want to, but we are so used to living in a house that I can't bear having to pack again. We really need to sign a rent to own contract with the owner NOW. We'll see what dh says. If he's willing to try and do some improvements himself to the place too. But first on the list is cleaning the house and getting rid of things, just in case we really have to move.

Friday, February 17, 2006

What am I to do?

I feel depressed when I'm at home. Maybe it's seeing the mess I need to clean. Maybe I associate the house with being alone (read my last post to understand). Or maybe it's because I live with too many people. Why is it that housing is so expensive that people have to have others living with them just to afford rent or mortgage payments? The house we live in now is a rental. The owner want's to sell it, but we can't afford to buy it from him. We pay $2,200 a month for a 3 bedroom 2 bath house. We used to have a pool. The owner decided that it was too expensive to maintain it and drained it and filled it in. Now he's trying to remodel parts of the house while we are living in it. Like today- he tore down a window and a door and covered the holes. He says he will come tomorrow and open a new hole for a new window and door. We had a separate room, which should have been the office, but we rented it out for $400 a month plus bills. He is making it bigger now and adding a bathroom. Where my kids room is and my sis-in-law is, he wants to knock down the walls and move them three feet out, making the rooms bigger. There is lots of mold on the walls and ceiling in both rooms, and he figured he'd just tear down the walls and fix the roof to clean up the mold, instead of washing it and painting over it. I guess that's a better solution, but right now those rooms are really cold. Oh, and on top of all this, we can't turn on the heater because rats have made a nest inside the pipes. We have had a problem with the rats since May of last year!! I wan't out NOW!! Actually since September of last year I've wanted out!! NO, I lie, I never wanted to move in to this house!! But Mr. Significant Other didn't wan't to listen to me, and now we are stuck with this problem. He asks me to look for another place, but we can't afford anywhere else, if we rent or buy a house. He won't even consider going back to an apartment or moving to a condo or townhouse. He absolutely has to have a house. There's a house on the street behind us that's for sale, but he says that there is not enough sun there. He's being too picky. It's really pissing me off. This is just one more thing that gets me upset with him. WHAT DO I DO?????

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Valentines day is overrated!

What can I say? I don't dislike the holiday, just that I never recieve anything from my significant other. NEVER. We've been married 9 years, and he never gives me anything for v-day. This year he didn't even say hi to me when I got home from school. HMPH. I stopped putting my heart out for him a long time ago. Don't get me wrong, I still care for him deeply. I just feel that the love that we had 10 years ago when we met has dissipated into a dull routine. He only calls me when he needs help spelling something. Spanish is his first language, so he dosen't know how to write in English correctly. So I've become his dictionary. He has tons of love for his kids, and he demonstrates that everyday when he sees them. But me? There are days when he barely acknowledges my presence. He never wants to do things as a family, let alone just the two of us. Just last night we had a banquet for my son's cubscout pack, and he asked if he really had to go with us!! He has not participated in any of the pack activities, and I felt embarrased when I introduced him to the Den leader, whom I see everyday! Go figure. So for v-day I had more fun with the kids and their school parties, and a party at my school during class, that I didn't even worry about whether or not he'd get me anything. His sister thought that he would buy me flowers. Yeah right. When does he do that? Ok, he did surprise me on my birthday last year, which was the first time in over 6 years that he actually gave me flowers. I wasn't expecting anything from him anyway this year. Just like every year. Lately he's been talking on his cell phone late into the night, and drinking with his buddies instead of trying to spend time with me and talk. Could he be seeing someone else? Maybe. His actions point in that direction, but then again, I'm naturally paranoid. I always think he's seeing someone behind my back. Just now, I don't care as much as I used to. If he was, I wouldn't be surprised, since we never do anything. He hasn't even asked for sex in a few weeks, which is unusual. I'm never in the mood anyway, but I'll do it when he asks. He spends so much more time with his buddies and at work that I've been alone too much. Sometimes he'll be out until 3am on a weeknight with them (just sitting in front of the house listening to music and drinking). He only will cuddle up with me in bed when he is cold. Ok, so now I feel like crying. There's a difference in being alone and being truly lonely. True loneliness is when the person is there right next to you but won't acknowledge your presence. When he is home I feel more lonely than when he is working or away with his buddies. Enough now.

Monday, February 06, 2006

NEED TO VENT!!!!!!!!

ARRGGHHH!! What am I to do? It seems that everything I do, or intend to do, backfires on me, ALWAYS!

Ok, Thurdsay I woke up feeling crappy. I don't just mean crappy I mean utterly wigged out. I had no energy and all I wanted to do was crawl back into bed and sleep. But NOOO, that just wasn't possible. KIds had to get up and go to school. Ok, then someone else take them. Again, NOOO. I take them, walk them to the classrooms, and realize that something is worse than me just feeling wigged out. I was sick, but I couldn't begin to know exactly how sick I was. I get home and go to sleep, not before reprogramming the alarm clock so I wouldn't forget to p/u Marie. So it seems that by the time I finally drift off to sleep the alarm goes off. Get in the car, drive to school, and sit and wait until she gets out. Bring her home, get her settled, and go back to sleep again, reprogramming the alarm once more so I won't forget to p/u Danny and my niece Edna. But this time I only sleep maybe 20 minutes before my daughter bugs me. By the time I have to go get the other two, I feel ten times worse. I get to school, park and wait. Take the kids home, drop them off, and drive myself to the doctor. Wait 2 hours to be seen only to be told that all I have is the flu, my temp was 103, and there was nothing really that I can take to stop it. Well, maybe a perscription for 600mg ibuprofen to help my aches and fever. So I get it at Target, and come home and go back to sleep.
Friday morning, I don't want to wake up, still feel crappy. Marie now has a really bad cough. Oh NO! Don't tell me she's getting sick too? Too late, she is, so she stays home from school. SIL takes Danny and Edna to school for me, and picks them up too, so all I do all day is sleep.
Saturday I feel a little better. Clothes don't wash themselves, so I take the laundry to the laundromat and spend two hours washing and drying and folding little. That was a baaaaad mistake. Fever came back with a vengence, and I drifted into a sweating, heaving, chilly sleep from 2pm until the next morning. All I can say is- THANK YOU HUBBIE! At least he finally helped me out with the kids for the first time ever. I don't remember anything said to me that night.
Sunday morning, and I'm waking up at 9 am. I get up slowly, not sure if I'm alive still- ok, I can't cut the dramatics, that's who I am. ANyway, feel ok. Get some breakfast, boy was I STARVING! I guess that meant I was better finally. Later that day, Danny started complaining that he didn't feel well. Not him too? So here comes the screwy part of my life; I get in the car to go buy some meds for the kids and a thermometer, start backing up out of the drive way when- CRASH! HOLY $%*@! Put the car into drive and go back into the driveway. I hit the back corner of a friends BRAND NEW TRUCK, with my car, put a nice corner sized dent into the right front corner behind the headlights, luckily not damagaing them as well. There went my composure. I had to get out FAST! I parked, turned off the car and ran back into the house and locked myself in my room. Was I still feverish? HOw stupid can I get? I was thinking about my kids and not worried about driving. Nightmares came back of other crashes I was involved in (as a passenger, NOT a driver). THose had been really bad, I almost misscarried Daniel at 5mo pregnancy in one. I don't deal with trauma well. I finally had gotten enough confidence in myself to drive a car and I go and do something as stupid as what I did. Can't get back into the drivers seat again. Not for a while at least. Hubby doesn't get it. He wasn't affected by those accidents like I was. Not even in the slightest. Weakness from being in bed for three days with the flu made me stupid, more than normal. I think I need to see a shrink.