Sunday, October 28, 2007

I started searching...

A friend told me about a website that helped people search for information and people with relation to adoptions. So I went on there and registered and input all the info I have about my birth mom. We'll see what happens.

I was also reading this weeks' People mag and there is an article in there about reunions that have happened thanks to myspace and a couple of other internet based groups. I may search there as well.

But for the time being, I'm going to take it slow. It's an emotional thing. I don't want to take chances of big dissapointments, but I'm ready for that anyway.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

My head is spinning!!

Boy oh boy... life is coming at me fast!! So many things are going on in my life, and I've not had much time at all to come and write it all down! But here's the most significant thing that is happening to me right now:

Out of some strange conversation that I was having with my mom, I come to find out that she has always had my adoption papers close at hand. Ok. No big deal right? I've known ever since I could remember that I was adopted. Here's the stunning part- my mom told me that she knows the name of my birth mother, and that the adoption was an "open adoption."


Ohhhh kaaaaaay.... taking a deep breath. Now, a small disclaimer here- open adoptions now are truly open, meaning the birth mother gets to visit with the child if she wants to, and the adoptive parents are willing to allow that.

Well, back when I was born, in 1978, an open adoption just meant that my adoptive parents would know the name of my birth parents, and that's it. If there was any communication it was only through the lawyers.

So what did I do? I asked my mom if I could have the papers. She said, sure. She knew that someday I would want to look at them. And she was right.

So, now I'm debating whether or not I should actually search for my birth mother. She used to live really close. And I have an older brother out there as well, who is 4 years older than me. AND out there somewhere I have another sister, 2 years older, who was also given up for adoption.

I'm a little stupefied right now. And boy does that full moon look beautiful out there tonight!!! Maybe that's why I feel so overwhelmed!

What should I do????

Thursday, March 08, 2007

More immigrations problems

Recently there have been numerous Immigration Raids in my area.

Yesterday and Tuesday they hit two areas and took over 60 people.

This is what makes me angry though: the officers are plain clothes and start knocking on doors at 5 am. If the door opens then they just barge in and start arresting people.

Tuesday they hit the Canal District in San Rafael, which is probably 99.9 percent hispanic. (it's 10 minutes from my house) Two kids were separated from thier parents, meaning the parents were taken away but they left the kids. One 7 year old was handcuffed and taken as well. Why the bleep do they feel they can do that to a 7 year old AMERICAN CITIZEN???? 30 people were taken, supposedly they had 30 arrest warrants which were for people that they had previously given deportation notices and those people didn't "comply." But a 7 year old boy?

Wednesday morning they were in my neigborhood. They hit the house that we used to live in. They took some people from the apartment complex I live in.

The school in the Canal District had a huge absentee rate yesterday- nearly 80 kids didn't show up to school, all of them hispanic. The school normally experiences up to 10 absentees a day.

Why is this happening like this?

Immigration raids used to be out in the open, in areas where day laborers would congregate waiting for a job. Now they feel they can just knock on the door and arrest you when you open the door?

Someone please check the Constitution and find out if these raids are a violation?

Friday, February 09, 2007

Sick, again.... ugh!!

And I blame it all on my mom.

We went to her house last Thursday night to go see a play. Since we live an hours bus ride away from my mom, we stayed the night there.

After being there for a few hours I started to feel itchy all over. Mostly on my neck and scalp. I also started sneezing. Alot.

My mom woke my kids up at 5am, who then woke me up at 5:30 so we could catch a 6:45 bus to get home in time for them to get to school. I was feeling pretty out of it by then.

All day Friday I couldn't stop sneezing, and scratching my head. What the heck was wrong with me???

Saturday I felt feverish. I didn't check, but I was hot and sweating all day. I took my son to a birthday party at the arcade in the mall, which didn't help my head at all. By the time I got home I felt so bad that I just went to bed early.

Sunday morning, my left ear was bright red and starting to swell up. And my head was still itching uncontrollably. AND I had what seemed like the flu. I had to go buy some Benadryl to stop my itching. It was horrible.

Monday I woke up and my ear looked like Dumbo. And my lips were swollen as well. I started to freak out. What I had was scarily similar to my staff infection I had in April of last year on my leg. I called my sister-in-law, who said she would be over as soon as she got her son changed. Four hours later I'm half asleep on the couch, still waiting for her, and it's almost time for the kids to get out of school. I called her and told her to forget it (my nephew had fallen asleep supposedly).

Tuesday I just slept all day, taking benadryl every six hours. That stuff makes me very sleepy. But it seemed to help. I didn't feel the need to scratch anymore. And the swelling was starting to go down.

Wednesday I looked better, but wasn't feeling that much better. My ear looked fairly normal, but still slightly swollen. My lips were peeling. Ouch. Thank goodness for the lotion I have. I think that did the trick with my lips. I honestly have no idea what the heck I had there. At least I felt well enough to go to my important Cub Scout meeting. Well, I hardly made it through the meeting but at least I went.

Thursday I felt bad again. Could be because I went out Wednesday night, and it was raining cats and dogs then. I had to miss out on helping in my daughter's class cause I was still feeling bad.

By this morning I was feeling much better. I think all that extra sleep I was getting this week helped. It's still raining cats and dogs. I did have to go out though, and I made sure I had a hat and a warm jacket and layers, so I didn't get cold or wet. Well, I got a little wet. Hard not to.

I hope that whatever I caught never shows up in my life again.

I said I blamed it on my mom. Wanna know why?? I don't recall her ever vacumming or sweeping her home. I don't even think she owns a vacumm or a broom. She has a Swiffer wet thingy to clean the kitchen floor, but that's all. The carpet is full of who knows what. I know I'm allergic to dust. My mom needs help. :(

Monday, January 22, 2007

Will he have learned his lesson this time???

I'm both royally pissed off and blessed. How can that be? Let me tell you what happened Sunday night:

Hubby is now in Mexico for two weeks. He nearly didn't make it. His flight was to leave at 11:59pm so he should have been at the airport by 10:30 at the latest. He didn't leave the house until 10:30, and it's close to an hour's drive to the airport. He was partying with his buddies instead.

So he gets home to pick up his bags at 10:20pm. His brother in law was taking him. Well, BIL's car had broken tail lights (kinda convenient to me) so they decided to take our truck. Finally they left at 10:30. He should have been at the airport by then.

11:10pm hubby calls me and says, how the heck can they get a taxi, cause the truck broke down. "It's 911, how can I get a taxi" he says. I figured he was joking, he does that alot. I can never tell when he is joking or being serious. One time the power steering belt broke off on the car we had at the time, and he tells me he got into a serious accident. So how do you expect me to believe him when he says stuff like that to me?

11:25 pm- BIL calls me and asks again how to get a taxi. I hear people talking in the background. The call gets lost.

11:35pm- I call him back and ask if hubby had gotten a taxi- BIL says no, then I hear him talking to someone saying "my brother in law's truck- he just left in a taxi to get to the airport." The call gets lost again.

Hubby calls me around the same time. The airline officials wouldn't let him board the plane, even though he arrived 25 minutes before takeoff. Gee, I wonder why. But they are able to give him a different flight, one that would leave an hour later at 1am. The only problem is that it would take him to Guadalajara, which is about 4 to 5 hours from his original destination of Leon, Guanajuato. Oh well he said. At that point he didn't care as long as he got to Mexico.

12:10 am more or less: hubby's sister calls me- the police arrived and wanted to take BIL to jail and impound the truck- they didn't believe that hubby had been driving when it broke down. So I told them to call hubby since I just got off the phone with him. See BIL doesn't have a driver's license.

12:40 am- they call me back. The police called a tow truck which could move the truck to a parking lot nearby. But a good Samaritan said that items left in the truck would get stolen right away, so he helped them find a tow truck that could bring it back home.

12:58 am- hubby calls- he is finally boarding the plane. "I'll call you when I get there."

So I fall asleep. For a little while.

2:15 am. BIL calls me- they are outside with the tow truck and they needed more money to pay the guy. $200 total to get the truck home.

SIL comes in and tells me what happened. Something cracked in half under the truck, and burst into flames. If it weren't for the Samaritan, the truck could have blown up since the flames were really close to the gas tank. This is where I start to feel sick. A trailer stopped to help extinguish the flames. They were 15 minutes from the airport.

So now can you understand why I feel pissed, but blessed? At least they didn't get into more serious trouble with the truck- it didn't blow up, thankfully. And they were able to get it back here without anyone going to jail. One minor detail that probably caused some problems for hubby at the airport- he had a six pack of beer in the truck and was drinking them while they were driving. When they got out of the car to see the flames, he tried to extinguish them with the beer, and soaking himself in beer during the process.

Oh, and I didn't mention, SIL had her 15 month old son with them as well.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

And yet another "new" year.

Well, Happy New year everyone! I actually made it through the holiday without too many problems.

Christmas was quiet and relaxing, amazingly enough. The kids loved what they got, even if they didn't get much. All I got was some candles from the kids, since they knew how much I love candles, and a little bit of spending money from my mom and aunt (which went into getting the kids thier presents). Oh, and tons of Christmas cards from my online friends!! :o)

So apart from the financial side of things, I've got some serious communication problems with DH, from now on only known as H. I'm busting my chops trying to open up more and he is shutting down even more. He even suggested that we either split up, try marriage counseling, or just stay as we are. Not something I wanted to deal with during the holidays.

That was right after my last post, or about the same time. We kinda started to do more communicating as Christmas came and went, but once again we are at a communication deadlock. I don't know what else to try. He won't answer my phone calls most of the time, and get's pissed now if I text message him more than once. Last night I texted him asking what time would he come home. Of course he didn't answer, so I texted him two more times, and he finally replied around 11pm with "I was about to come home...don't you know I hate it when you do that?" and then didn't come home until after 1am. Ok, how was I supposed to know that he hated when I "bothered" him with text messages, when he doesn't talk to me at all? I've told him many times that I wouldn't get mad about him being out so much if only he would answer his phone and tell me the truth about when he will be home or where he is. He is always saying something like, "I'm outside, I'll be there in a sec." or "I'll be home in a minute, I had to go to the store." He hangs out with people who drink to get drunk, do drugs, smoke marijuana, and he claims that he doesn't do any of that stuff. Well, what am I supposed to think when he doesn't come home until anywhere between 1am and 8am??

I've actually started keeping track of how many times he does that, since he claims that he only does that once in a blue moon. Since January 1, he has come home after 1am 6 times. Today is the 11th. What does that tell you?

I'm too exausted to type anymore tonight, but I will continue to write about this newest saga in a couple of days.