My head is spinning!!

Boy oh boy... life is coming at me fast!! So many things are going on in my life, and I've not had much time at all to come and write it all down! But here's the most significant thing that is happening to me right now:

Out of some strange conversation that I was having with my mom, I come to find out that she has always had my adoption papers close at hand. Ok. No big deal right? I've known ever since I could remember that I was adopted. Here's the stunning part- my mom told me that she knows the name of my birth mother, and that the adoption was an "open adoption."

WHAT????

Ohhhh kaaaaaay.... taking a deep breath. Now, a small disclaimer here- open adoptions now are truly open, meaning the birth mother gets to visit with the child if she wants to, and the adoptive parents are willing to allow that.

Well, back when I was born, in 1978, an open adoption just meant that my adoptive parents would know the name of my birth parents, and that's it. If there was any communication it was only through the lawyers.

So what did I do? I asked my mom if I could have the papers. She said, sure. She knew that someday I would want to look at them. And she was right.

So, now I'm debating whether or not I should actually search for my birth mother. She used to live really close. And I have an older brother out there as well, who is 4 years older than me. AND out there somewhere I have another sister, 2 years older, who was also given up for adoption.

I'm a little stupefied right now. And boy does that full moon look beautiful out there tonight!!! Maybe that's why I feel so overwhelmed!

What should I do????