A little fun stuff just for you!!

I'm trying to be more positive in life!! So I'm not going to post my woes for a while!! Here's some fun stuff that I have come accross recently (mostly in emails)! I have more, but I will post them later!!

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Birthday Calendar

It tells you how many hours and how many seconds you have been alive on this earth and when you were probably conceived. After you've finished reading the info, click again, and see what the moon looked like the night you were born. Who says our time clocks aren't ticking....

http://www.paulsadowski.com/birthday.asp

My info included Life Path compatablity, My age equivilancy in Dog years, how much energy the candles on my bday cake will produce, and what my birth tree is!! LOL! I am 870,529,117 seconds old!! (as of this moment! LOL!)

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Have you ever heard of "Assicons"??
WARNING- This may offend you: but don't worry, I didn't write it!! LOL!

We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons,"
where:
:) means a smile
and
:( is a frown.

Well, how about some "ASSICONS?"

Here goes:
(_!_) a regular ass
(__!__) a fat ass
(!) a tight ass
(_*_) a sore ass
(_!_} a swishy ass
(_o_) an ass that's been around
(_x_) kiss my ass
(_X_) leave my ass alone
(_zzz_) a tired ass
(_E=mc2_) a smart ass
(_$_) Money coming out of his ass
(_?_) Dumb Ass

You have just been e-mooned! Send this to 5 people within the next hour and you will be blessed with people laughing their ass off (_ :-) _).

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The Ulitmate Female Joke

It has long been contended that there are male jokes and there are female jokes. And there are unisex jokes. Here is a joke I consider a true female joke. I offer it to you in the hopes that women will love it and men will pass it along to a woman who will love it.

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him. The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. (As all men will.)

Before she could offer her apologies for so rudely staring, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00, on one condition."

Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."

The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly and meaningfully said....

"Clean my house."