It has been a hard week. On 1-25, my church family lost a dear member to pancreatic cancer. Today, 2-2, we laid him to rest.
So many things that surround me right now are making me feel extremely sad and depressed, and as much as I try to avoid them, they keep shoving themselves in my face. The loss of someone close makes me worry about my immediate family- my mom lives alone in California, and my dad lives two towns away, yet I hardly have any communication with either of them. They are both past 65, and both have health issues which could cause them to leave us at any time. :'( I am depressed about that because I have not been the daughter I should be, helping them out or communicating with them as often as I should.
That coupled with seeing a new relationship among two new friends of mine, and the stark realization that I am more than likely going to be alone, and a single mother, for many more years to come makes me even more depressed and sad.
What else can I do to make things better, short of drowning out my sorrows with beer, as my soon-to-be ex husband always did.... I look for friendships that will support me when I need them the most and who will help me steer clear of destructive behavior, yet the ones who I thought would be that type of friend either have backstabbed me, or ignored me for reasona I cannot fathom. I look for distraction and friends who can help distract me, but without completely loosing my senses.
I HATE feeling lost like I do now. :(
Kira sandoval :o)
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