When everyone around you has what you have been working for and still don't have?
That's what it seems like for me right now. Everyone around me has been successful in their lives in one way or another. Me- its been one tumble after another and I don't have the success that I've needed to get ahead. The only good thing in my life that has happened is my children. However, they are also the one (or should I say 3) reason(s) why I have not have want I've been working for.
I want a house. I want a car. I want to have enough money to not need foodstamps.
But most of all, I want to find happiness. People constantly tell me- happiness is what you make of it. True. That I can't deny. The problem is that as soon as I feel happiness something dreadful shows its ugly head and happiness hides itself again. It usually buries itself so deep, its extremely hard to find it again. I have given up looking on more than one occasion.
I feel resigned to the possibility I will never have what I want, if my life stays on the same path. So here I go again with the confusion and different lives, lol. I'm not schizophrenic, seriously, lol. *sigh*
I'm repeating myself. It just keeps circling round my crazy head. :/
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